Turnabout is Fair Play
by paynesgrey
Summary: Lisa knows Joshua is playing her, so she tests him in return. Spoilers for 2.07. Lisa x Joshua. ONESHOT.


AN: Written for "#71 – Cleverness and Gullibility" for 100_fairytales on Livejournal. This one-shot will not be continued.

Turnabout is Fair Play

Lisa soon learned there was more to human empathy than feeling other people's emotions. She could also feel _lack_ of empathy, and though it wasn't as strong, it was a useful skill. (Her mother, of course, was a master at having no empathy at all.)

In Joshua's case, it was both useful and heartbreaking. She wondered if he could ever be the same Joshua that she grew to trust and care for.

She watched him, knowing he wasn't to be trusted. Her empathy told her that. He tried to tell her that he'd gotten his emotions back, but he didn't _prove_ it - that's when her new intuition kicked in. He was lying, for her mother probably, and it broke her heart. It brought back very recent memories when they'd stolen moments away together and talked about how human emotions were affecting them.

* * *

"It's very curious," he told her once. "This strange sound came out of my mouth the other day. It was quite odd, something happened to one of the V security offices and I found amusement out of it." Joshua took Lisa's hands, and she felt breathless by his touch and the brightness in his eyes. "I laughed, Lisa. I laughed without forcing it," he said wondrously. "Fortunately no one was around to hear me."

"I've laughed for real too. I know, it's wonderful! Before, it was forced - part of my thing with Tyler," Lisa said shaking her head. She squeezed Joshua's hands tightly. His touch felt good; she couldn't lose it. It was a moment to remember.

Suddenly, he drew his hands away, reneging his emotions and stammering apologies to her. "I'm sorry...about my forwardness," he said. Lisa felt the earnestness in his apology, the emotion and awkwardness. These were not things their race did - felt, even.

"Joshua, it's okay," she assured him.

"I do not deserve...I'm so beneath," he rattled, and he stopped when Lisa leaned forward and touched her forehead with his. He paused, first startled but now rigid with surprise.

"Never think that. I need you more than anyone right now, Joshua. Never think that," she said.

* * *

A few days later Erica Evans initiated her plan. She freed Joshua, but Lisa couldn't touch him like that ever again.

This person was not her Joshua, not anymore, and day-by-day Lisa was losing hope that he'd ever regain his emotions and memories again. The waiting, the heartbreak - it only made the gravity of her new-found human emotions stronger - like a solid, cold metal weight crushing her heart.

Sadly, Lisa almost resolved herself to believe that Joshua was lost for good. She now had Diana's support, but Lisa wasn't sure that her grandmother was trustworthy enough. She could sense that something was off, but she was too desperate for an ally that she didn't want to pursue it; she didn't want to believe her only ally on the ship was using her too.

It made her miss Joshua even more. Diana would never be a worthy substitute.

* * *

Lisa knew that her mother and Joshua were conspiring; she could feel it, and even if she didn't sense it, she knew she'd heed Diana's words and not trust anyone on the ship but her. It was true, defying her mother posed fatal risks.

Despite the pain of not being able to trust Joshua, Lisa treated him as any other V under Anna's command. She regarded him coldly, suspiciously, as if the Joshua she knew truly had died. When he approached her that evening, she anticipated the lies and deceit that would come from his mouth.

"Lisa, I have been looking for you everywhere," he said, and she found that odd since he had found her in her own bedroom, and she'd been holed up here for some time because of the side effects from her fertility changes. She'd been feeling overly aggressive, as her mother said she would, but she'd also been feeling highly emotional, especially after her last disappointing confrontation with Tyler.

She looked at Joshua curiously, tilting her head. "I have been here all day, Joshua," she said accusingly, which immediately showed she did not trust his words. He seemed unaffected, and Lisa knew her Joshua would immediately apologize. She glared at him, feeling a sense of loathing the more she looked at him, this monster with a mask of someone she'd come to love.

"Yes, well, I did not look here until now. I know it is a bad time, but I have been regaining some curious pieces of my memories that I knew I could only confide in you," he said. Lisa stared, narrowing her eyes, pacing around him like a predator. Finally, without more delay, he bowed and said, "My queen."

The way he said it infuriated her. There was no emotion behind it at all. She raged at him, "Don't call me that! I am not your Queen!"

She held up a hand but stopped when he cowered under her. She sneered at him as he cautiously met her eyes.

"I'm sorry, but that is what I remember, Lisa. I considered you my Queen," he said.

She wanted to rip his head off with her teeth! How could he think her so foolish? Her fist shook as it hovered above his head. _Liar! Liar! How dare you lie with that face!_

She pulled back, fortunately, trying to calm herself. There was little hope left, and she hated that some part of her wished that his words were true.

They were not. She stiffened under his intense gaze and lifted her chin. "I don't know what you're talking about. You've never called me that." Lisa snorted. "Really, Joshua, you should have a medic check on you."

Joshua nodded, clearly bothered by his failure to fool her. He tried to mask it well, but Lisa could feel it.

"Yes, perhaps I will," he said, and before he could turn away, Lisa suddenly felt as though she wasn't done with him yet. He betrayed her...sure, he lost his memories, his emotion, but right now he was playing her, and she couldn't stand by any long while her mother danced around her, toying with her like a soulless doll.

Lisa had a soul, she knew that now, and once upon a time, Joshua did too.

How dare her mother use _her _Joshua to play her games?

"Wait, Joshua," she said, and he stopped rigidly at her door. He turned around curiously, and she wondered if her tone may have sounded too desperate. She smiled at him, walking over to him - playing innocent and coy.

If he was going to test her, she was going to test _him_.

"I'm wondering if there is something in your memories that you have gotten back," she said softly. She was already pulling down the zipper of her uniform. Joshua watched her intrigued, as Lisa took note of every reaction that came over his face.

Sure, he was surprised, but he did not react like the old Joshua would. Not in the least, and Lisa knew it. This Joshua couldn't be more placid about her baring herself in front of him. The Joshua she knew would become anxious and self-deprecating from a mere touch of her hand.

Joshua's eyes followed her one-piece uniform as it fell to the floor into a pile. She stood in front of him, remembering she was wearing the bright red underwear she had meant to tempt Raphael with and never took the chance.

"Do you remember?" she asked in a whisper. Joshua looked at her, stunned, which prompted Lisa to come forward. She placed her hand behind his neck and drew him forward, capturing his lips in a heavy kiss. She arched her body against him, and he remained rigid like a steel column as she deepened their kiss.

_An emotionless tool,_ Lisa thought morosely. Not the Joshua I know at all.

She pulled back, looking into his eyes for some recognition, some horror at her touch. She saw nothing.

Ultimately, she wanted to do nothing more than cry that she'd really lost him, but instead Lisa smiled wickedly at him. "I suppose you don't remember... us. I'm kind of hurt by that."

"Lisa, what is the meaning of this?" Joshua asked curiously, as if he was seeing the sun for the first time.

"You really don't remember, do you?" she asked, picking up her clothes and brusquely zipping them back on. When he said nothing, Lisa sighed. "Apparently not." She walked back to her bed, openly dismissing his presence and knowing he would get the hint.

"Goodbye, Joshua," Lisa said coldly. She waited, and she sighed in relief when she heard his footsteps finally march away. Fearing she was being watched, she held the sobs inside, and instead, she picked up the nearest heavy thing - a crystal trinket at her nightstand, and she threw it with a desperate roar at the window overlooking the city.

_Joshua is really gone_, she thought. More and more she'd come to accept that, and the only way Lisa was able to love him, to remember him as he was, was within her memories.

* * *

A young Lisa traced her fingers over her human lips. "Such strange things," she said to Joshua, who was checking her vitals as her body began to grow with her human skin, preparing her for the day when she'd take over as Queen.

"Human lips," he said to her, and he came over and shined a scanner over her head and neck. She puckered her lips at him, which made him pause, catching her large eyes.

"Mine are bigger than yours," she said astutely.

"The female lips usually are," he said, but she pouted at him. He put a hand on her shoulder. "Your human skin is in perfect condition, and it is pleasing to the eye. You have nothing to be concerned about, little Lisa."

Her eyes brightened and she leaned forward, pushing her lips onto his. Joshua stared at her, stunned. Lisa remembered the shock in his eyes, the first spark of emotion.

"Ha! I was told about this! It's a human's kiss! You're my first kiss, Joshua!" she tittered happily. "Weird, but kind of nice."

"Yes, but you mustn't do it often, Lisa. It shows too much emotion, and human emotion is something very dangerous, something you must never explore," he warned.

"I'm sorry," she said, looking down at her lap shamefully. "Will Mother be mad?"

Joshua watched her and sighed. "Do not worry. I will not tell her."

Lisa smiled at him, and clearly, she remembered the strange look of contemplation on his face when she stared at him. Despite warning her to not feel human emotion, Joshua was experiencing it before her. He probably knew it and was trying to look out for her as well.

* * *

Lisa gazed out the window of her bedroom, thinking of her memories with Joshua and knowing that he was the Joshua she knew, the one she loved.

Sometimes she thought that maybe he was right; the human soul was very dangerous, and right now she was experiencing everything alone without him. Out of all her emotions, she hated feeling despair and fear the most.

But somewhere inside her, she also felt hope. Lisa just _knew_ that Joshua would get his memories back soon. Hope was small, like her chances against her mother, but at least Lisa knew that it was there.

* * *

Anna moved toward him as Joshua returned to her side. "Your report?"

"Lisa still will not trust me. I'm afraid she is becoming more suspicious of me by each interaction," he said, and he furrowed his brow, his eyes darting away from hers.

"What is it? Tell me everything she said," Anna demanded, and Joshua met her eyes oddly bemused.

"She ...said I should remember having a past relationship with her. My Queen, she took her uniform off," Joshua said puzzled.

Anna released a controlled yet exasperated sigh. "She's playing you, Joshua." Anna smirked but her eyes were dark. "She gets that from her mother, wouldn't you say?"

Though, Anna was obviously not proud, and she was more annoyed that Joshua was failing to find anything suspicious in her daughter's behavior. She couldn't give up now; however, they were too close, and maybe Lisa would let her guard down soon.

"Just keep watching her. Fortune may smile on us and she will slip. If she does have feelings for you, Joshua, she won't keep them hidden for long," she droned, and Joshua bowed to her.

"Yes, my Queen," he said, but he paused and required more of her counsel. "What shall I do if she disrobes in front of me again?"

Anna raised an eyebrow. She snorted. "Do what you want, Joshua." She tilted her head and smirked widely. "Use anything you can in getting closer to Lisa."

He bowed again, complying stiffly to her orders. Anna stared at him curiously as he excused himself. She couldn't help but admire Lisa's tenacity to challenge her; however, if her daughter really wanted to play, Anna was fair game.

And of course, so was her Joshua.

END


End file.
